My wonderful parents
Monday, April 27, 2009
Don't live for the future, live for the now.
Why is it that when we think we have it all figured out then something comes along and changes it all over again. That seems be the story of my life. I was told by a friend that the best thing to do is just be with myself . I know what she is telling me is what I need to hear, its the understanding that I have a problem with. I had my break down Sat night when I was yes, by myself. Had dinner with the girls then beer at the owl and just didn't feel like I fit there anymore. I guess it is time to do something different.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Well here I am again.. SINGLE of course and as always hating it. It just seems like I can not get my life together at all. I always think that im doing the right thing but find out later that there is never the right thing. I'm so tired of hurting and crying , when is it time for it all to stop and just be????
Some day I will get what I think I need and deserve, when that will be I have no idea its not like I'm not getting younger or smarter. My whole adult life I have struggled with ME. I have no idea where to begin anything. I just wanted to have this not perfect but put together relationship and I can't seem to keep any of them. I turn to people that I think I can trust, I get my heart broke or better yet fried. I just need someone to ground me and let me be me.
When will it be my turn for just the calm. I have three great kids and love them all. Ty wants to go live with his dad and I'm ok with that. I think that he needs him more then he needs me at this point in his life. Shelby I'm hoping for the best. She is the whole package for some great guy if she would just let herself be. Jessie is a handful at times but I'm thankful for that also.
I am a person that needs to have someone in my life because I want to spend it with a great guy that can handle me and the package that I bring to the table. I want the kids to feel like that can do anything that I want to. Enough of my going on and on and on. Till I have another break day which I'm sure will be later tonight.....
Some day I will get what I think I need and deserve, when that will be I have no idea its not like I'm not getting younger or smarter. My whole adult life I have struggled with ME. I have no idea where to begin anything. I just wanted to have this not perfect but put together relationship and I can't seem to keep any of them. I turn to people that I think I can trust, I get my heart broke or better yet fried. I just need someone to ground me and let me be me.
When will it be my turn for just the calm. I have three great kids and love them all. Ty wants to go live with his dad and I'm ok with that. I think that he needs him more then he needs me at this point in his life. Shelby I'm hoping for the best. She is the whole package for some great guy if she would just let herself be. Jessie is a handful at times but I'm thankful for that also.
I am a person that needs to have someone in my life because I want to spend it with a great guy that can handle me and the package that I bring to the table. I want the kids to feel like that can do anything that I want to. Enough of my going on and on and on. Till I have another break day which I'm sure will be later tonight.....
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