Fact or Fiction

Wow! I'm at a lose for words today. Dating is something that is a game that I'm finding out. You either love it or you hate it. Hate the game not the player.. This is true:) Finding out that relationships are worth fighting for because on the flip side single you have to mingle and truly I mingle all day that I just want one person to come home to and listen and wrap there arms around me and not have to see who's going to text or who is going to call. Like having the time alone but it gets pretty lonely when your in your time of need . I want to believe that there is one person out there for me but the circle is getting smaller. You have to weed out the ones that are not your type after a couple of weeks of texting and a few dates with them then you think ya this is not the one. Why is it the one that you love never loves you back and why is it that love is only a word anymore?????????

Ya thats what I thought

I truly thought that people could be friends until there not. When shit gets said and your friend is there but doesn't back you up what is that call?? No friend at all. Over the last month my life has done a full circle as far as how trusting people there is now way in hell it will happen again. I thought I knew who they all were guess I was mistaken...... Won't happen again. My dating life is not going to happen no man can be trusted at all.

Ya, that's what I said!!!

So my lastnight was hell. Got to sleep a 3 then up at 6. My ass was kicked before the day even started. My friend brought me back to life and the day seemed so much better. I had a lunch date with someone that I had been set up with through my boss and pretty damn nervous for it but went with a good attitude and had a great time. Laughing and talking and thinking wow is this what a true date is never really been on any without falling head over heals. Turned out that laughing and talking for that hour was nice and relaxing. I came to the conclusion that there is only one person that should make me feel like hell and that's me. My mouth and fingers took over my texting ability and wrote zinger that I didn't know I had anymore. Im tired of being walked on and talked about the games are high school stints and of course I did it. I feel bad for it for this is not me but it felt so good to let it out. If the person dosen't want to talk then he can read them and read i'm sure he did.

There have been so many people tell me that I just wasn't the same as I was and Mike E. said what happened to you were did the fun posative person go and when does she plan on coming back. I never thought that so many people could tell a person by there emotions but I guess you can. I took a long hard look at it till 3 in the morning and went holy shit Sam would not let this happen over and over and you know what I didn't ha..... Sam is back :)

Again

Tell me please when will I smile and laugh again. I go through stages all the time . I cry and I'm pissed. I'm pissed then I cry. I just want to stop hurting and the roller coaster ride that so many people have shared with me. Thanks for the people who have supported me and sat with me in my time of being in a rut......

Feeling for that someone

Why is it when you feel something for someone then your world changes but only for the time that you feel. When you stop to think about it then it all changes again. When you think about it that's just what we do. Think to much! I have let go of so many things in such a short period of time that my head feels like spinning off. I miss the people that came and went so fast but made an impact on me and glad that they were there for me . I wouldn't have made it without them. For the last couple of weeks the numbness has settled in and reality has finally hit , letting goes has been the final option and as hard as it has been I know that it was the right choose that Mike made. I feel like through the whole thing I was just totally let out of the loop with alot and it stuff that keeps popping out of the wood work. Do I feel stupid UM Ya! but that's how it goes. I will learn from it and so not look at loving someone the same way for all the hurt and emotional roller coaster rides are just not worth it. I thought in my head I knew what I needed I guess I was wrong and now it's time to change my way of thinking. Who knows what that might be but I'm going were I've never been before and scared to death. There's not time like the present:)

Letting go!

I let him go totally today. After 3 long weeks of texting and being told that what I am is just not enough for one person I guess my other personality took over and shut off all contact with him. I just cant even write about it yet. There will come a time and day that the feelings that I have right now will come pouring out and it will be the next step.

Really

Things happen not sure why but they do. I cant write about everyones life but mine I can. Shelby has finally gotten her a job YAH and thank god. She is doing good for once and Im getting proud of her everytime she gets it right. Lord knows she has had a hard time getting there but she's doing it. Ty is hanging with Travis this weekend UEA and I'm glad he is happy. Jessie is missing her dad so much but in a short time he will be back. The fish fry is going to be happening this weekend and I kinda excited for a get together.

New Beginings

So I have been thinking of all the little stuff in life. Its not what I have been waiting for but what I have been hoping for. The hope factor just hasn't been what it is all cracked up to be. Things that happen along the way of the hope road haven't been all that great to sum it up, but who is counting. Life is to short to hang onto the what ifs and hopes. Let's get back to the basics and just take it as it comes. Good or bad either way we all fall for something. The cold air has came and so has so many of my relationships. I look at it this way. You win some you loose some, but if they leave they must mot have been that great in the first place. Such as life :)