Sleepless

My thoughts are driving me crazy. The more I try to lay down and get rest the more they just run. There is so much going through them that I cant trust my judgement any more. They say to follow your instincts but doing that seems to end me up in places that do not make sense in the end. Do we make our self's out to be victims on our own or is that the way that it happens. Life is a funny thing when you think about it. The road that is paved for what we want only happens when we let it I guess. My road is becoming a 2way instead of a 4 way. I want the whole damn road and just not sure if there is help to move it back to it. Someone told me that I think to much and the conclusion that I cam to was, the only time I think is when I feel that it is out of my control. Why is there such a thing as a time frame when we have the whole thing in our hand. I'll tell you my version, it's because we decided that what we have will eventually change and life as we know it will become what we want. Ya, I know!!!!

I've always been good at giving advise to other but never following my own. I have been through alot and done alot that as a person I'm not proud of but through it all the sad part is I still don't have the answers for myself. Even when I ask for advise in any question I still think that what they are telling me is not the way it is. Trying to work through this has been such a challenge, to put it mildly a royal pain in my ass. When is it my time to have what I want and what I need. Same question just another day work through it day!!!!!